“He said he’s old enough to choose.” It’s one of the most common things we hear from separated parents in Queensland, and one of the most misunderstood areas of family law. A teenager announces they’re moving in with the other parent “because I’m 12 now” or “because I’m allowed to choose at 14,” and suddenly a parenting arrangement that took months to negotiate is thrown into chaos.
The truth is, there is no magic age in Australian family law at which a child gets to make the final call. No birthday flips a switch. No number in the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) says “12,” “14,” or “16” and hands a child the keys to the decision. Believing otherwise can lead to unnecessary conflict, children being placed in the middle of adult disputes, and parents making decisions based on a myth rather than the law.
What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? The Real Answer
Under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), the Court’s only real compass in parenting matters is what is in the best interests of the child. Following reforms that took effect on 6 May 2024, section 60CC sets out six general considerations the Court must weigh when making parenting orders, as set out in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia’s own guidance on parenting matters. One of those considerations is any views expressed by the child.
Critically, the Act does not say those views are decisive. It says the child’s views should be given the weight the Court considers appropriate in the circumstances, having regard to the child’s age and level of maturity or understanding. A confident, articulate 15-year-old’s views may carry real weight. A 9-year-old’s stated preference, especially if it seems to echo one parent’s language, may carry very little. There is no fixed cut-off — it is always a question of fact and degree, assessed case by case.
So does a teenager’s opinion count for nothing?
Not at all — it just isn’t the whole story. The Court can hear a child’s views through an Independent Children’s Lawyer, a family report prepared by a psychologist or social worker, or evidence from a family consultant. As children get older and demonstrate genuine, independent maturity, their expressed wishes typically carry more practical influence, both in negotiations and in how realistic it is to enforce an order a strong-willed older teenager firmly disagrees with.
That practical reality is different from a legal right to choose. It is the difference between “the Court will listen carefully to what you say” and “you get to decide.” Conflating the two is exactly where families run into trouble — often assuming a change can be made unilaterally, without properly varying the parenting order or parenting plan, and without turning their mind to what is genuinely best for the child rather than what the child says they want in the moment.
Why this matters for your family
Getting this wrong is costly, both financially and emotionally. Parents sometimes stop complying with existing parenting orders because a child has expressed a preference, not realising that orders remain binding until they are formally varied or discharged by consent or by the Court. Others avoid seeking proper advice altogether, assuming the matter has already resolved itself once a child reaches a certain age.
This is precisely where good family law advice earns its keep. At Bennett Carroll, we help Queensland parents understand where they actually stand, whether that means formalising a change through consent orders, working through family dispute resolution and a section 60I certificate before returning to Court, or simply explaining, in plain English, what the law does and doesn’t allow. Our goal is always the same: protect the child’s wellbeing, and help parents make decisions grounded in the actual law rather than the version they heard at the school gate.
Get advice built around your family, not a myth
Bennett Carroll has been advising Queensland families since 1974. We act for clients right across Queensland, with real people in real offices across South East Queensland — Brisbane (Stafford and Mt Gravatt), the Gold Coast (Mermaid Beach), and the Sunshine Coast (Birtinya) — so you’re always speaking with someone who understands your situation, not a call centre.
If a parenting arrangement in your family is under strain, or a child’s changing wishes have raised questions you’re not sure how to answer, we’re here to help you work through it properly. Call us on 1300 334 566 or complete our family law enquiry form below, and let’s talk about what’s actually best for your children.
